Pick-Me-Ups of the Week #4

Good morning Blogworld!
(I mean if you count 11:28 AM as morning, which I do) -

I hope you've had a good week! The truth is guys, I've been really slacking - I am so so sorry. Not that a lot of people are even reading these, and if you do, thank you so much for listening to my frustrating rants. I like how when I write these I'm not limited to 800 words, have to write in 5 body paragraphs, or worry about a stupid ass thesis statement (so. fucking. annoying. thank you AP Lang) -  I think this blog started off as something unselfish, me wanting to help you - but the truth is sometimes this blog, you guys who read, you help me. You help me say the things that are holding and resting in my heart, you help me say the truth and feel better about those anxieties and as Elsa would say, trying to let it go.

So here we are, #4. Let's get started.

#1

A split moment in time. A reflection. This photo I took in front of the Met. To me there are six subjects in this photo, the two in front conversing about something that seems pretty serious (yikes, he's probably in trouble with his lady :/ ), the two women absorbed in their phones, the kind-looking old man at the edge of the light and on the edge of darkness - but yet here he stands bathing in the sunlight. Here, I think is living proof that the light always beats the dark. Lastly, the pigeon - the little black bird perfectly lined with the old man, perched on the stone step taking the big world in. How crazy is that this moment can never be recreated again? These people who seemingly have no connection to each other whatsoever, were there in that moment together at the same time - and together they make one beautiful photo. It's like the universe put me and them in this picture perfect moment - A moment. That's all you need.

#2 

A quote - 

During the new year, I had a resolution - that was to be more trusting, work out more, try not to worry so much and turn my fears to God. It's now June and we're at the midpoint of this year. Have I succeeded? 

Nope.

 I mean was the last time you saw me in the gym? Exactly. I think sometimes we try really hard not to care and try not to be hurt by the things people do. We tell ourselves that we are the ones overreacting, that we can change - and the truth is - that's so hard. I mean, you're basically suppressing your feelings and lying to yourself that you don't care. How can you do that to yourself?When I think of all the times I failed to be more trusting, when I failed to put on gym clothes and head to the gym, when I worry at night and have troubles turning to God because I am so ashamed - I tell myself this:

"Keep your resolutions but go easy on yourself. Will you change? Maybe. But it probably won't happen in one big moment. It'll happen in thousands of little moments. Every time you choose to forgive or slow down or be grateful or stay calm. Each little moment that you choose what's right instead of what's easy, faith instead of doubt, love instead of hate, that's where the change happens!"

Funny enough that this quote came from a little girl - I envy her - so carefree. But the four year old is right, cut yourself some slack, I mean you're trying. Everyday, you fight to choose good over bad, to choose to help others rather than focus on yourself. Your'e conscious of your actions, and I think that's pretty damn amazing. You're getting there. You will get there. 

#3

Don't judge me, but I wrote a poem. Yes, I know nerdy and gross - but I did it. Call me cheesy but rhyming is fun. People should rhyme more often, you know how satisfying it is?

Poetry is like tea. It's refreshing and rejuvenating. You let out all the bad toxins and take in the good ones. Let's do that together now shall we? (Read it out, it rhymes I swear, at least, some of it does) - 

2.15.17

Your heart is fluttering,

beating teensily, weakly on this battleground.

You knew that this was all going to go down.

You will fall, fall through the ground,

through the layers of the Earth,

until you hit Earth's core

and the melting lava hardens your heart

and your flickering beat will start to slow.

Your tears and your deepest fears will show.

Go and find something -

someone, now. Before it's too late.

Find who will resuscitate your fluttering, beating 

teensily, weakly heart, to become full - 

Who will give you spectrums of colours and gold.

Go 

Before the lava hardens your heart.

Remember that your pain is beautiful art. 

P.S I know "teensily" is not a word, but fuck it, it really should be!

You are never alone.

                                                                                                    -teeny, tiny & terrified.