Pick-Me-Ups of the Week #9
Hello my fellow nuggets,
How are you doing?
I miss you all so much and I just want to say, thank you for those who keep up. It's absolutely amazing what you do. Listening to this weird cuckoo yammer on about her escapades of failure that one would call "life" - my life can be summed up as a joke, and I am so happy I can utilise it as a way to make you laugh. I mean this in not a sarcastic way, I swear. :') God, this is sad LOL
Everyone needs a Pick-Me-Up every once in a while, one needs so much strength to get through the week. I think to keep living, to keep moving forward in life even when things seem absolutely shitty, and nothing seems to be going in the right direction, and even when you think the worst of the worst has happened and nothing else can possibly be worse than this, life fucks with you! Yes it can get worse! Ha ha! Your dog is going to be sick now, on the brink of death, and you're going to be oceans away feeling helpless and unable to do jack shit ! Funny ! Thanks life !
But I guess this is the quality that I most admire about myself (Yes I don't say this much), that even though people may treat me like absolute trash, even though 2017 was by far the shittiest year I have ever, ever had and probably will have, here I am! I am here, living. Even if dark thoughts creep up on me, even if there seems to be no reason to live, I am still here.
And if you are still here, I applaud you. You amaze me. I am so proud of you. Let's get picked up.
#1
These are the Rachels.
Yes I am aware that this sounds like a dumbass middle school clique where the Rachels do nothing but put on make up and bully the other kids in the class.
However, they are nothing like that. The Rachels absorbed a Lauren. They absorbed a Lauren and made a Lauren feel more at home than ever. The Rachels are truly special.
I miss my best friends. I know I've only known them for two weeks technically, but somehow these two girls have managed to make such an impact on my life, I could never tell my friends at Princeton or even at Blair some of the things I tell Little Rachel. I could never laugh like I do when I'm with Big Rachel (Big Rachel hates when we call her big Rachel, because she is not big at all, Little Rachel is just unnaturally small and tiny), with anyone else. They bring this kind of joy to me that I couldn't express, they brought this type of joy and high to my life, when I had hit the lowest of lows; when I felt betrayed, when I believed in the false, they made me feel like happiness, love and all the other cheesy good stuff we all need, really exists. The world is good because they exist.
My favourite memory comes to my mind every time I see something beautiful. Yes. Anything remotely beautiful - because sometimes we need a reminder that the world around us is beautiful, even when things look like they're all dying or going to shits. The Himalayan mountains still exist - and I got to see it with these two goons: who not only know how to make me laugh till I shit, but also know how to have these intellectual, mind-boggling conversations, where I realise the universe is so large, and that my purpose, my goodness is ultimately what is going to help me achieve happiness and release some portion of good into this world. The Rachels will too.
I remember lying in this hot tent. The mud under us, it was uncomfortable as hell, and little Rachel and I were the only people up throughout the site. We laid there, looking at a blank sheet of blackness swirling above us. We talked about two boys who clearly did not deserve us, and then we talked about real, important things - how we were going to change the world. Rachel would be taking care care of the environment, and I would be taking care of the people living in it. Together, we are going to change the world. That conversation, will forever be our little secret, but I knew in that moment my life would be changed. Because not only did she make me more passionate about continuously caring about people the way I do, but she also made me become some sort of an environmentalist. I care waaaay more about the environment than I have ever before. I know I've had this impact on her too - because even after months, Rachel will call me at 2 am, stuck in her car with glitter all over her face, telling me all the little things that she does to help people, whether it's at the grocery market or at school, she starts to feel a certain way about helping people - and she is the living proof of exactly the kind of impact I want to have on people.
I know she does the same to me. She has impacted me in tremendous ways. Even when I'm drunk and gone, I'll be trying to Save the Earth by picking up trash from the streets. Everyone will think I'm crazy, but I know who I'm doing it for now - Rachel. Forever and always.
Phew, that was long.
#2
A Quote -
Keep that in mind.
You are going to be so happy.
#3
"Wait. Wait. OK? I need to remember this. Give me a second."
"Ok..." pausing. "Leslie Knope -"
"No, no, no. Hold on. I need another second, please. I need to remember every little thing about how perfect my life is at this exact moment."
~
I've been watching a lot of Parks & Rec, and this is the scene where Ben proposes to Leslie, when the future seems extremely terrifying and blurry, he made the decision that she was what was and is most important in his life, and going on in life without her just wasn't and isn't a possibility to him - he wanted her there, for whatever came at him in the future.
It's that simple.
It's that simple of a decision.
And I never got that.
I want that.
And I will.
The perfect man will come along, and whether or not I am in depths of the amazon forests, or in a village so far in Africa, he will and I will be reassured that I love him and he loves me. There should never be this fear or doubt that he won't love me when he or I come back. You should just know. You should just know that they're there. Not doubting. but loving you. It's just not supposed to be that hard.
So I make a promise to you, and myself today, when I meet the right guy, and this moment comes in my life - I will stop, and think about how lucky I am. How lucky I am to have someone who has no doubt, who trusts and loves me for me. How lucky I am to have this moment - perfect.
-teeny,tiny&hopeful.
How are you doing?
I miss you all so much and I just want to say, thank you for those who keep up. It's absolutely amazing what you do. Listening to this weird cuckoo yammer on about her escapades of failure that one would call "life" - my life can be summed up as a joke, and I am so happy I can utilise it as a way to make you laugh. I mean this in not a sarcastic way, I swear. :') God, this is sad LOL
Everyone needs a Pick-Me-Up every once in a while, one needs so much strength to get through the week. I think to keep living, to keep moving forward in life even when things seem absolutely shitty, and nothing seems to be going in the right direction, and even when you think the worst of the worst has happened and nothing else can possibly be worse than this, life fucks with you! Yes it can get worse! Ha ha! Your dog is going to be sick now, on the brink of death, and you're going to be oceans away feeling helpless and unable to do jack shit ! Funny ! Thanks life !
But I guess this is the quality that I most admire about myself (Yes I don't say this much), that even though people may treat me like absolute trash, even though 2017 was by far the shittiest year I have ever, ever had and probably will have, here I am! I am here, living. Even if dark thoughts creep up on me, even if there seems to be no reason to live, I am still here.
And if you are still here, I applaud you. You amaze me. I am so proud of you. Let's get picked up.
#1
These are the Rachels.
Yes I am aware that this sounds like a dumbass middle school clique where the Rachels do nothing but put on make up and bully the other kids in the class.
However, they are nothing like that. The Rachels absorbed a Lauren. They absorbed a Lauren and made a Lauren feel more at home than ever. The Rachels are truly special.
I miss my best friends. I know I've only known them for two weeks technically, but somehow these two girls have managed to make such an impact on my life, I could never tell my friends at Princeton or even at Blair some of the things I tell Little Rachel. I could never laugh like I do when I'm with Big Rachel (Big Rachel hates when we call her big Rachel, because she is not big at all, Little Rachel is just unnaturally small and tiny), with anyone else. They bring this kind of joy to me that I couldn't express, they brought this type of joy and high to my life, when I had hit the lowest of lows; when I felt betrayed, when I believed in the false, they made me feel like happiness, love and all the other cheesy good stuff we all need, really exists. The world is good because they exist.
My favourite memory comes to my mind every time I see something beautiful. Yes. Anything remotely beautiful - because sometimes we need a reminder that the world around us is beautiful, even when things look like they're all dying or going to shits. The Himalayan mountains still exist - and I got to see it with these two goons: who not only know how to make me laugh till I shit, but also know how to have these intellectual, mind-boggling conversations, where I realise the universe is so large, and that my purpose, my goodness is ultimately what is going to help me achieve happiness and release some portion of good into this world. The Rachels will too.
I remember lying in this hot tent. The mud under us, it was uncomfortable as hell, and little Rachel and I were the only people up throughout the site. We laid there, looking at a blank sheet of blackness swirling above us. We talked about two boys who clearly did not deserve us, and then we talked about real, important things - how we were going to change the world. Rachel would be taking care care of the environment, and I would be taking care of the people living in it. Together, we are going to change the world. That conversation, will forever be our little secret, but I knew in that moment my life would be changed. Because not only did she make me more passionate about continuously caring about people the way I do, but she also made me become some sort of an environmentalist. I care waaaay more about the environment than I have ever before. I know I've had this impact on her too - because even after months, Rachel will call me at 2 am, stuck in her car with glitter all over her face, telling me all the little things that she does to help people, whether it's at the grocery market or at school, she starts to feel a certain way about helping people - and she is the living proof of exactly the kind of impact I want to have on people.
I know she does the same to me. She has impacted me in tremendous ways. Even when I'm drunk and gone, I'll be trying to Save the Earth by picking up trash from the streets. Everyone will think I'm crazy, but I know who I'm doing it for now - Rachel. Forever and always.
Phew, that was long.
#2
A Quote -
Keep that in mind.
You are going to be so happy.
#3
"Wait. Wait. OK? I need to remember this. Give me a second."
"Ok..." pausing. "Leslie Knope -"
"No, no, no. Hold on. I need another second, please. I need to remember every little thing about how perfect my life is at this exact moment."
~
I've been watching a lot of Parks & Rec, and this is the scene where Ben proposes to Leslie, when the future seems extremely terrifying and blurry, he made the decision that she was what was and is most important in his life, and going on in life without her just wasn't and isn't a possibility to him - he wanted her there, for whatever came at him in the future.
It's that simple.
It's that simple of a decision.
And I never got that.
I want that.
And I will.
The perfect man will come along, and whether or not I am in depths of the amazon forests, or in a village so far in Africa, he will and I will be reassured that I love him and he loves me. There should never be this fear or doubt that he won't love me when he or I come back. You should just know. You should just know that they're there. Not doubting. but loving you. It's just not supposed to be that hard.
So I make a promise to you, and myself today, when I meet the right guy, and this moment comes in my life - I will stop, and think about how lucky I am. How lucky I am to have someone who has no doubt, who trusts and loves me for me. How lucky I am to have this moment - perfect.
-teeny,tiny&hopeful.
Comments
Post a Comment
Ask me anything!