im not falling in love

if i wasn't in love with him,
i would be in love with helping people
imagine that
if i cared about myself, about a job,
if i cared about something that could change this planet
if i had the same love and passion i had for him
in something that could help others
the world would be a much better place.
and thats sad but true
i dont want to fall in love this year
i only want to fall in love with helping people
id rather want to dream about my black baby from uganda
id rather want to write long, heartfelt texts to people that need my help
id rather want to make milk tea for people that are thirsty
id rather want to buy chips and vitamin water for the hungry
id rather want to write a series of letters to those who are in need of care and attention
id rather want to kiss those who are wounded
id rather want to come home early to facetime those who need a friend
id rather want to get ready for prom for those who need to see that they are worth getting dressed up for
id rather want to wait 2 months for those who need to know they will always have someone to be here

i want to fall in love with this one thing
and maybe it'll be unawarding and unwanting

but it'll make this world a better place
and at the end of the day that's all that matters

love
is all that matters

persistant love
and
im ready for that
im ready to put my love in something else
i want kindness always on my conscious
even if its like a painful breakup
weighing my mind with regret and heartache
because id rip apart everything that i am
for the one thing that i love

so if i am going to be ripped apart anyways, id rather fall in love helping people



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