Why We Broke Up
This is the story of why we broke up:
Timothy and I broke up because I wasn't in love with him. We broke up because I was young, I was a foreigner to what love was and what it even meant. I wasn't in love with him because I was more in love with being in love, of being able to call someone my boyfriend. I was only a kid in middle school, and I remember asking my mom: "Is it bad if I stop loving a boy after he gets a haircut?"
I can still hear her cheeky laugh.
I will always remember laying there on the concrete floor, everyone laughing and wondering what in God's name I was doing laying on the road by myself. The truth is, I was flabbergastered by the stars in the sky. You laid there next to me, and Timothy, I took my arm and hooked it around yours.
Then I went to boarding school, and I never really thought of you again.
Timothy and I broke up because I wasn't in love with him. We don't talk today.
Cody and I broke up because we were teenagers, because we were in 7th grade and I still liked Ronald. We broke up because we knew all of this was kind of a joke at the end of the day. Cody is one of my best friends now, one of the most beautiful people I know on this planet. He makes me feel like a good person, and he is the best listener in the whole world. He has the most beautiful thoughts, and he cares about the people he loves to the best of his abilities. Cody has always been so good, and we broke up because we are so much better as best friends, because we've grown to become better people apart and on our own. I can tell Cody anything, my worst thoughts, the ones I can't really talk to about to anyone, and the ones that I'm scared everyone is sick of listening about. Cody taught me what it means to have a friendship that lives on, to laugh and tease, and I am so lucky to be his friend.
Jim and I broke up because he understood what it meant to be young and beautiful. Jim was always open to new things, not afraid to jump in, and fall in love with new people. Jim was the kind of person to move on quickly, to find someone new in 3 days. Today, I wish I was like Jim. Jim was always wild and I could never be as wild as him. He could never have felt "fulfilled" with me, and he could never have fulfilled my wildest, impossible expecations, of what I thought I wanted in a boyfriend. I think I liked Jim the most because there were so many chances that we didn't take. We never got to see where it could have gone. When I look back on Jim and me, I laugh because I know Jim and I could never be the people that we end up with. Jim and I don't feel anything for each other today, but once every blue moon, when the sky is dark and he is alone, my phone will light up with a notification with his name on it.
John and I broke up because he was sick of it. I mean, do we blame him? I would be sick of it too. John I was surprised about, I thought this one would have stuck. But it didn't. I thought he would be my forever, I thought he would show me that love could be something different - unselfish and unwavering no matter what. I thought he could show me someone who could love as hard, and as deep as I could. But no, and I'm okay with that. In fact, John is with someone now, and I think he's really happy, and I'm actually pretty happy for him too. John lost his beauty, I think, which is a bummer, but I hope he finds that again.
We broke up because it was too painful. Because every time I see your face, I either want to turn away from it, or hold it. We broke up because I love you, but you didn't love me, because you always seem to put your anger and hatred before me. We broke up because you made me cry on my birthday three years in a row, while you thought of yourself and what you thought you wanted. We broke up because I can't forgive you for what you did to me, and you can't forgive me for what I did to you. We broke up because there are so many bloody stains that I can't wipe away. We broke up, and I know I still see beauty in all of it, I know it does for you too, in sparks. I know you think I don't exist really, and that's okay with me too. But if I kissed someone you knew, you would be angry. If I showed up in someone's Snap, your heart would drop a little. I appreciate everything that you've done for me, I truly do, but I hope you find happiness in someone or something else.
At the end of the day, I want to be by myself.
I want to be by myself, be ok with myself, to put my love into those who deserve it, who aren't as lucky to recieve love.
because at the end of the day, I don't know what real love is, because I've seen so many different things, so many different "versions" of it - and I don't think any of these are it.
Why did we break up? We broke up because I know none of you are reading this. We broke up because we're young and incredibly stupid - and you're just the one heartbreak that got me closer to that someone. Ah, that someone. Thank you. I hope he ends up loving me as much as I love him. He'll be the one laughing at my stupid jokes, adopting black babies with me from Uganda, joking when I'm angry, understanding when it comes to my trips to the Congo, someone who has a big heart, someone who throws me hoedowns, and most importantly, likes the inside of the oreo when I eat the cookie part of it.
We broke up because you didn't show me the love that I ultimately will end up with, you showed me your version of it, and, it wasn't what I wanted, what I needed or what I think was meant for me. And that's okay. We broke up, and I'm thankful to you everyday. I hope you find happiness. Here's a little piece of my heart - handle it with care - as I will with yours.
You're never alone.
- teeny, tiny & terrified
Timothy and I broke up because I wasn't in love with him. We broke up because I was young, I was a foreigner to what love was and what it even meant. I wasn't in love with him because I was more in love with being in love, of being able to call someone my boyfriend. I was only a kid in middle school, and I remember asking my mom: "Is it bad if I stop loving a boy after he gets a haircut?"
I can still hear her cheeky laugh.
I will always remember laying there on the concrete floor, everyone laughing and wondering what in God's name I was doing laying on the road by myself. The truth is, I was flabbergastered by the stars in the sky. You laid there next to me, and Timothy, I took my arm and hooked it around yours.
Then I went to boarding school, and I never really thought of you again.
Timothy and I broke up because I wasn't in love with him. We don't talk today.
Cody and I broke up because we were teenagers, because we were in 7th grade and I still liked Ronald. We broke up because we knew all of this was kind of a joke at the end of the day. Cody is one of my best friends now, one of the most beautiful people I know on this planet. He makes me feel like a good person, and he is the best listener in the whole world. He has the most beautiful thoughts, and he cares about the people he loves to the best of his abilities. Cody has always been so good, and we broke up because we are so much better as best friends, because we've grown to become better people apart and on our own. I can tell Cody anything, my worst thoughts, the ones I can't really talk to about to anyone, and the ones that I'm scared everyone is sick of listening about. Cody taught me what it means to have a friendship that lives on, to laugh and tease, and I am so lucky to be his friend.
Jim and I broke up because he understood what it meant to be young and beautiful. Jim was always open to new things, not afraid to jump in, and fall in love with new people. Jim was the kind of person to move on quickly, to find someone new in 3 days. Today, I wish I was like Jim. Jim was always wild and I could never be as wild as him. He could never have felt "fulfilled" with me, and he could never have fulfilled my wildest, impossible expecations, of what I thought I wanted in a boyfriend. I think I liked Jim the most because there were so many chances that we didn't take. We never got to see where it could have gone. When I look back on Jim and me, I laugh because I know Jim and I could never be the people that we end up with. Jim and I don't feel anything for each other today, but once every blue moon, when the sky is dark and he is alone, my phone will light up with a notification with his name on it.
John and I broke up because he was sick of it. I mean, do we blame him? I would be sick of it too. John I was surprised about, I thought this one would have stuck. But it didn't. I thought he would be my forever, I thought he would show me that love could be something different - unselfish and unwavering no matter what. I thought he could show me someone who could love as hard, and as deep as I could. But no, and I'm okay with that. In fact, John is with someone now, and I think he's really happy, and I'm actually pretty happy for him too. John lost his beauty, I think, which is a bummer, but I hope he finds that again.
We broke up because it was too painful. Because every time I see your face, I either want to turn away from it, or hold it. We broke up because I love you, but you didn't love me, because you always seem to put your anger and hatred before me. We broke up because you made me cry on my birthday three years in a row, while you thought of yourself and what you thought you wanted. We broke up because I can't forgive you for what you did to me, and you can't forgive me for what I did to you. We broke up because there are so many bloody stains that I can't wipe away. We broke up, and I know I still see beauty in all of it, I know it does for you too, in sparks. I know you think I don't exist really, and that's okay with me too. But if I kissed someone you knew, you would be angry. If I showed up in someone's Snap, your heart would drop a little. I appreciate everything that you've done for me, I truly do, but I hope you find happiness in someone or something else.
At the end of the day, I want to be by myself.
I want to be by myself, be ok with myself, to put my love into those who deserve it, who aren't as lucky to recieve love.
because at the end of the day, I don't know what real love is, because I've seen so many different things, so many different "versions" of it - and I don't think any of these are it.
Why did we break up? We broke up because I know none of you are reading this. We broke up because we're young and incredibly stupid - and you're just the one heartbreak that got me closer to that someone. Ah, that someone. Thank you. I hope he ends up loving me as much as I love him. He'll be the one laughing at my stupid jokes, adopting black babies with me from Uganda, joking when I'm angry, understanding when it comes to my trips to the Congo, someone who has a big heart, someone who throws me hoedowns, and most importantly, likes the inside of the oreo when I eat the cookie part of it.
We broke up because you didn't show me the love that I ultimately will end up with, you showed me your version of it, and, it wasn't what I wanted, what I needed or what I think was meant for me. And that's okay. We broke up, and I'm thankful to you everyday. I hope you find happiness. Here's a little piece of my heart - handle it with care - as I will with yours.
You're never alone.
- teeny, tiny & terrified
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