What I Do

            I dance on the line
                 between
   patience      and      self-destruction
     wild
 and
    ferocious
swaying myself
back and                 forth
              back and
                                   forth
selling my heart off for      patience
                                     and tearing my soul    out for self-destruction.

I tightrope
                       drunk
on reality,
playing with the fire of my emotions
    and yours.
I move   s l o w l y    for my dream
of impossibility
to stay in
                       check.

I go to sleep  calm     and
           accepting
and wake up
angry and         cursing
tossing
        and
turning away from                                      the sunlight
ripping                   through my curtains
even though God says
            to
         never
          sleep angry.

       I
just
  want
   to
         sleep.

I dance on the line between
      you     or      Me
dipping towards
                you
              as
            Me pulls me
                      back
trying to win me over
maybe
   just
     this
       one
          time.

I tightrope knowing that I will
                                               break
this string
and       f a l l
       and
splat
on the ground,
because I am  
                     plump
                       and
                    chubby
with                                negative
                          space.

I go to sleep dreaming on a net.
            dancing
around   and      between
          the lines
never
     touching
    never
tainting

you

even as we tighten those strings
                                       closer
                         and closer
                          together.

For I am the         negative  space,
and you are the
            subject
You
  and
I
      make up
       the art
         but
our           worlds            never

touch.

                                   Yours is   simply  surrounded by
                                           
                                                   everything
                                       
                            that I can give.

Blind.